男人最重要的角色
我总是让一些夫妇来到我的“婚姻重燃周末”一起来做游戏。他们会收到一个由12个单词组成的字谜，然后把这些单词组成一个有意义的短语或句子。在几次不成功的尝试之后，他们最终汇聚成了这样一句话：
“同一屋檐下母鸡高啼、雄鸡默然的情景是可悲的”。
总会有一对或几对夫妇将会花很长很长的时间去理解这句谚语和它本身的暗示。但是在他们经过深思熟虑之后，里面的警醒就变得清晰起来。
从一个男人在这个世界的第一口气到最后一口气的生命进程当中，他会扮演诸多的角色，但是有两个最重要的角色那就是丈夫和父亲。如果一个男人不能扮演好丈夫的角色，他也将绝对不是一个好的父亲。如果一个男人和他妻子的关系破裂了，那么他在生命中的其他的任何事情上面都不会成功。
一个稳定，充满爱并且带有影响力的家庭归结起来都会有一个共同元素——家庭的领导力。作为丈夫，他必须成为超越妻子的属灵领袖并且能够给妻子提供属灵遮盖。作为父亲，他必须能够带领孩子走他们应该走的道路，并且要建立孩子们的个性和正确的价值观。
这就是一个拥有家庭的男人的最初职责。他绝不能把这个角色委派给他的妻子，父母乃至教会领袖。
然而，一些人总是在领导他的员工、经营他的公司乃至服侍教会方面花大量的时间，而在带领妻子和孩子方面花的时间少之又少。有些人总是会找各种各样的理由来说他们的妻子很难被满足，而且她们总是喜欢用自己的方式方法来处理所有的问题。还有一些人的原因就更简单了“在其他的事物上面太忙碌了而没有时间去带领自己的家庭。另一方面，有许多妻子对他们丈夫的能力没有足够的信任，不能完全的让他们来接管家庭。
问题就在于此。当母鸡有规律的鸣叫时公鸡却在那里沉默，那么婚姻和家庭的关系将永远不会朝他应有的稳定、充满爱和富有影响的的轨道上前行。
男人被上帝所造的时候就是头，是领导者。他是领先的那一位。这被特别的应用于他在家庭中的角色。男人就一定是头，但是悲哀的是，不是所有的男人都那么做了，也不是所有的人都希望当头。
这种角色的反转和倒置或者说是男人责任和领导权的退位是我们从未想到过的。男人就一定要恢复他所被命定的职位，男人作为家庭的头并且要为家庭中的妻子和孩子们提供属灵方面的、情感方面的和物质方面的帮助和支持。
同样地，女人也一定要尊重和扶持男人，即使男人们不像她们所想象的那样能够胜任家庭的主要角色，但也一定要把家庭的领导权放权给男人。
伟大的爱人们都明白这个规则。当他们把自己彼此的敬畏都交给他们的创造者时，他们之间就显明了爱和尊敬。
把你生命中的次序摆放正确，你就会看到你家庭中充满了能力。让雄鸡再一次的雄起吧！
英文原文
Man’s Most Important Role
I always make couples who come to my marriagere-sparking weekend play a game together. They are given a 12-word puzzle to form a meaningful phrase. After several unsuccessful attempts, they will eventually converge to the following sentence:
‘Woe to the house whose hen crows and the cock keeps quiet.’
There will always be one or two couples who take a little longer time to understand this phrase and its implication. But as they ponder over it, the warning becomes clear.
Of all the roles that a man has tounder take from his first brea the to his last, the two most crucial ones are the roles of the husband and father. One can not be a good father if he were not a good husband. And no man can be considered successful in any other end eavors in life if his relationship with his wife were broken.
A strong, loving and powerful family boils down to one element – the leadership of the head of the household. As husband,a man must take the spiritual leadership over his wife and provide the covering over her. As father, he must lead his children in the way in which they should go, teach them right values and establish their character.
This is the primal role for a man who has a family. He can not delegate this role to his wife, to his parents or to the church leaders.
However, some men spend more time leading his workers, his company and even his church than leading his wife and children. There are those who give the reason that they have a wife who is hardto satisfy and wants all things done only in her way. They are others who are simply ‘too busy with other important things’ than to take the lead at home. On the other hand, there are wives who do not think highly enough of their husband’s capability and simply takes over.
Here in lies the issue. When the hen crowsre gularly and the cock is silent, the spousal and family relationships can never be as loving, strong and powerful as it should be.
Man is created to be a leader. He is wired to lead. This particularly applies to his role in his family. Men must lead,but sadly, not all of them do, nor are willing to do so.
This reversal of role, or the abdication of the leadership and responsibilities of the man, was never meant to be. Man must regain his ordained position as head of the family and provide the spiritual, emotional and physical covering over his wife and children.
Similarly, woman must respect and support the man and free him to be the head of the family, even if her man were not ascapable as she is.
Great lovers understand this principle.While submitting to each other out of a reverence for their Creator, they show love and respect to each other.
Set the order right in your relationship and see power flow through your family. Let the cock crow distinctively once again!
Steven
本文作者：陈兆纪
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